Russet Skin, Silver Fur
by ravenclawfever
Summary: After a strange transformation, Leah Clearwater never expected that the only person who could help her, was the only person who had broken her. Sam/Leah/Paul
1. Broken to Pieces

Hey everyone (:  
This is just a quick dabble about Leah Clearwater and her phasing into a werewolf in New Moon.  
She's one of my favorites from the Twilight series and I really wish that Stephanie Meyer had explored her character into further depths,  
but then that's where our imagination comes in!

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight Series or any of it's characters.**

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**Broken to Pieces**

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This is something I usually didn't do. Usually, I would never let my emotions envelop me to the point that I felt that I had lost control of thinking rationally. I had learned that the hard way not very long ago. But locking myself in my room and shutting off the lights, that was pretty customary of me to do. I preferred to handle my problems all on my own. When it came down to it, who would really be there to help you through it all? Sure they'd offer some helpful words of encouragement, but they would never really take the pain away.

It was about noon, the sky was high in the sky and it wasn't raining. Something that would be considered nice weather in Forks, Washington. The day had started off alright, until I lost my temper. I inhaled a choked breath as a fresh set of tears formed in my eyes. My hands were shaking, along with my breathing pattern. I mentally scolded myself for letting this affect me so greatly, but I couldn't help but think how unfair all of it was.

I didn't deserve this. This shouldn't be happening to me.

"Leah! Open up!"

I heard my brother calling me through the other side of the pine of my shut door. Although I tried to ignore it as much as the newfound sensitivity in my ears would allow it. My mind came flowing back with memories of the moments prior to this. This wasn't fair, my life was ruined. I would never be the Leah Clearwater I once was, because now there was another side of me – hidden beneath my tanned, slim exterior, somehow hardwired into my emotions.

"Dammit Leah, I'll break down the door if I have to!"

The increasing signs of frustration were evident in Seth's voice. I felt guilt slap me straight in the face, I hated ignoring Seth. He was my little brother and he meant the world to me. I would throw myself in the line of fire for me, just as I'm sure he would do for me. So in spite of myself, I dislodged my arms from around my knees and stood up, slowly. I flapped my hands, blowing some air into my eyes to hide that I had been crying and wiped a few stray tears with the collar of my t-shirt.

Seth continued hammering at the door, each knock more urgent than the one before until I finally opened it just wide enough to show half of my face. I looked down at him, shy just two inches shorter than me, and saw that he had been crying too. His dark brown eyes were bloodshot and puffy, and his face was wet.

"They're t-taking him a-away." He choked.

"Who?" I asked suspiciously.

Seth looked back at me with sincere sadness, "Dad, he had a heart attack."

Oh my God. I pushed past him and entered the living room, where I had been just moments before. I held my breath as I watched men in uniform hover around him and my mother who was kneeled on the floor, holding his hand. The moment seemed surreal, It was as if I wasn't even in the room. It was more like this was a movie, or a dream, and I was flying above the scene simply watching, taking absolutely no part in it. At this point, Seth was standing beside her also watching the scene before him. I put my arm around his shoulders, which were no longer skinny and weak, but a lot more lean and muscular.

Once we'd arrived at the hospital, a staff of nurses were already waiting for my father's gurney. They all whispered orders to each other, terms too complicated for me to understand, and jolted out of sight.

My mother stood between Seth and I as she squeezed my hand tightly. She was a strong, graceful woman. She was always a pillar of strength, and I was glad that I had received those traits from her. And for a moment I was hesitant on how to react, I had never seen her so helpless and exposed. I couldn't stand watching her cry this way and it was precisely at this moment that I realized how drastically my life had changed in the course of an hour. Bitter tears formed in my eyes and I fought through my eyelashes to keep them from falling. Everything seemed so sallow and dark that nothing would ever be vicarious enough to bring it back to content state it once was – because to say she was ever happy would be a lie.

I threw my arms over my mother's neck and she did the same. Seth's arms wrapped around our waists and we stood there for a few comforting moments, basking in the warmth of a special glow only a family can give. Until a voice brought us back to the reality neither of us were ready to face.

"Mrs. Clearwater?"

I was too comfortable to move from where I was, but I had no choice once my mother jerked her body forward.

"Dr. Cullen, please tell me Harry's alright." She sobbed, still keeping her grip on my hand.

I looked up into the handsome face of Dr. Carlisle Cullen. Usually, I would sneer at the sight of him, but not today. There was too much going on to waste my time on that. Whether the stories were true or not, I didn't care. If Carlisle truly was a vampire, I wouldn't mind it – just as long as he saved my father's life.

His perfect face wrinkled as he spoke, "We're trying our best to revive him Mrs. Clearwater."

"_Revive_ him?" I thought, not realizing I had said it aloud.

He redirected his gaze towards me and I couldn't help but blush at the sudden attention. It was inappropriate to admire how handsome he was at a time like this.

"I'll keep you updated." He said with a shadow of a comforting smile. And with that he turned around and gracefully walked through a set of swinging doors that read in big red letters, _Intensive Care Unit._

Now I felt responsible for the well being of my family. Since my mother could no longer do the job herself, I took it upon myself to make sure we would make it through this unscathed. With a gentle push she nudged her mother towards the direction of a small waiting room, where there were two more anxious faces pacing and fretting. The walls and furniture were varying shades of white which gave me an uninviting feeling; like if you were constantly being reminded that you were in a hospital, never letting you escape the fact that in a few moments, Dr. Cullen would reappear with the worst possible news imaginable. I focused on a small arrangement of yellow carnations on a table in the middle of the room. It was the only thing that reminded me of La Push, as it was known for its overflowing greenery and abundant sense of nature. Although the entire town of Forks was known for being covered in green, the reservation was just _more._

I looked at my brothers troubled expression and passed a soothing hand up and down his arm. He looked up at me with a genuinely appreciative smile and let his head fall onto my shoulder. I rest the side of my face into the dark, tangled mess of his hair and inhaled his comforting scent. My brother was the only man I would ever be able to count on without doubt. Blood runs stronger than love, and my past experience did nothing at proving me wrong.

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**A/N: Thank you for reading!  
If you've read my previous story, you know how much I absolutely love reviews - just a hint ;)  
This is a short story, so it'll probably just have two or three more chapters.**

**I hope you all enjoyed it, and if you're interested to see what happens next:  
Please Review!!**


	2. Harsh Reality

**Harsh Reality**

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I hadn't cried, at least not yet. I tried to stay strong for Seth and my mom. They were complete wrecks. Mom had been locked up in her room all day, only allowing visitors when I would bother her for a question I had about the funeral arrangements. The wake was at our house tonight, and I tried to keep busy by calling family, friends, and anything else that needed to be taken care of. Seth spent most of his time hovering around me. He liked that I distracted him from the harsh reality. But we both knew that the distractions would end, we'd eventually have to face what was in front of us.

We were in the kitchen. Seth watched me put together small pieces of finger foods for guests who came to mourn with us when there was a knock on the door. Seth looked towards the direction of the sound, suddenly alert, and smiled for the first time since dad died.

"That's Jake." He said eagerly as he jumped off the kitchen counter and hurried to the door.

I frowned. Seth told me about himself and the others. How not too long ago Seth had also become like them – like Jacob and Sam. I hadn't faced any of the others about what had happened to me yesterday. I'm sure they knew, but they'd just decided to put off any confrontations until after the funeral. But I knew Jacob wouldn't say anything. He was a nice kid.

I could hear Seth's excited murmurs from the front of the house as he greeted Billy and Jacob Black. Billy Black wasn't a stranger to the Clearwater house. He was my dad's best friend, and just because he was gone didn't mean he was about to disappear too. He was the first one mom called, and he was the first one to rush to the house to help us with anything we needed.

"Hey." Jacob leaned against the door frame, his arms crossed in front of him.

"Hey Jake." I responded. It had never ceased to amaze me how greatly he had changed since his transformation. He had shot up several inches and had gained a significant amount of muscles. The Jake I knew was skinny and gangly. He used to remind me of Seth, just older. But now he was, as much as I hated to admit it, sort of handsome – for a sixteen year old of course.

"How're you feeling?" He asked sadly.

I laughed derisively, "Too busy to feel anything."

He looked at me sympathetically. "Leah, you can't bottle it all up. You know what happened last time.."

I almost dropped the tray I was balancing on my right hand, "Where's Seth?"

He stood there in silence, obviously not satisfied with my response.

I gave him a face, "Look, if you _really_ want to help; go find Seth for me." I set the tray down on the counter, frustrated, but quickly got a handle on my emotions before _that _awful thing happened again.

"Sam's asking for you." He said softly, finding his way to a spot beside me.

My throat suddenly felt tight and I found myself strongly resisting the urge to scream. Jacob could tell I wasn't happy that he brought it up, but I figured that If anyone were to talk to me about what would happen next – I'd prefer Jake over Sam any day. "Oh yeah? That's nice." I grunted, re-arranging a small platter of sandwiches around.

"He needs to talk to you about, you know – the process." He pressed on with a surfacing hesitation.

I threw a mini sandwich at the wall in front of me, "How about _you _tell me about the _process."_

"You know I can't."

"Why not?!" I demanded, hating how quickly I had managed to lose my temper.

"He's alpha, it's his job."

I threw my hands out in front of me in defeat, exhaling loudly. "I can't…"

Jacob started moving towards me, picking up the disheveled slices of ham and cheese I had thrown.

"I c-can't face him, it's too s-soon." I clenched my hands into fists.

"Leah, you don't have to do anything yet. Just, try to calm down." He placed his firm hand on my shoulder.

I nodded, silently agreeing with him. "Ok."

Jacob and Seth helped me in the kitchen as we put the finishing touches on snacks and drinks. Mom was still upstairs and I wondered if she had even started getting dressed. It was just a quarter til six and there was always the possibility of someone arriving early. Seth was doing better; Jacob had managed to get him to act like a shadow of his old self. I envied him for that, I could never make Seth forget his problems that way. I used to be carefree, just like him; but it had been months since I had ever been able to feel that way. Bitterness and distrust were now hardwired into me, and I'm not sure if it would ever go away.

Sure enough, no more than five minutes later there was a knock on the door. My heart skipped a beat. The reality of the present was beginning to sink in, this was _real_. It was all really happening. My father's funeral was set to start in less than fifteen minutes. I panicked at the sound of father and funeral in the same sentence. I could feel the sensation of tears beginning to form in my eyes and I wasn't entirely sure if I would be able to hold them back this time. I looked down at my outfit, jeans and a t-shirt. Here I am wondering whether my mom was dressed, when I myself hadn't even done so. I shot a quick glance at Seth and noticed that he was already dressed in a black button down shirt and black slacks. Jacob had something similar on too.

He caught me staring at him and noticed the wet stains on my cheeks. His angular face softened when he looked at me. I felt as if his amber eyes could read straight into my soul and I hated it. "Seth and I will take care of it, you can go upstairs and finish getting ready." He said in concerned tone, but that's when I noticed that he was sad – not just for me, but for his own reasons.

If it were another time I would've asked him what was wrong, but I didn't think I could last a minute longer without crying. So instead, thanked him and rushed past him and Seth, up the rusty staircase and into my room. I could hear a set of male voice downstairs which I quickly recognized to be Quil Atarea and his father. Beneath me a broken floorboard made a creaking sound as I moved across the room to reach my closet. I examined my choices, more than ninety eight percent of my closet was composed of casual clothes. I bit my lip anxiously and let the rest of my tears trickle down my bronzed face.

"Leah." I heard from behind me. I turned around to see my mother's tall figure making it's way towards me. Well, I was wrong – she had remembered to get dressed and the sight of seeing her in all black broke my heart. In her hands she held a black silk dress.

"I knew you wouldn't have anything, so I thought you would want to borrow something of mines." She smiled at me. Her eyes were red, but she was no longer crying. I knew she would eventually find a way to stop by tonight, she would never let herself cry in public.

I laughed dryly. "You read my mind."

She removed the dress from its hanger and handed it to me, gently nudging me towards the bathroom.

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A/N: Ahh! Thank you so much for all of your reviews!! Leanora, HadleyConlon, sailor alpha tomboy, Loonynamelass, ari11990, Jada91  
You're all amazing (: & thank you for putting my story on alert and/or adding it to your favorites!

Here's chapter 2, i hope you all enjoy it.  
Sorry, I know the ending's a bit bland - but it's because the next chapter continues from there.

Please keep your reviews coming! (:


	3. Outnumbered

**Outnumbered**

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We went downstairs together. By the time we had left my room, the ground floor was almost entirely covered by people coming to pay their respects. I moved my hand around, searching for my mom's hand and grabbed it. She gave it a quick squeeze and then we began to descend down the stairs.

We were met by Chief Swan and a few other faces I recognized, but couldn't name. I felt bad leaving my mother alone, but I didn't want to be in the middle of it all. I didn't need to be reminded of what had happened. I walked through a few people and was stopped by each one. They all said the same thing, ("I'm sorry about your father.")

I didn't want to hear anymore, so I quickly thanked them and continued to shove my way past the crowd. I inwardly smiled to see the amount of people cared for my father. He would've loved to be here to see it. I felt my tear ducts start up again until I felt someone grab my arm. I held my breath, hoping it wasn't who I thought it was.

Relief struck me, it was just Jake. He led me around the living room and into the kitchen where I found Seth talking to Quil and Embry. I didn't really know Quil and Embry, I knew they were Jacob's best friends and that they went to school with him, but I had never spoken a word to either of them. Their eyes fell on me when I entered the room and they examined me curiously. I knew what they must think of me. If you didn't know me personally, I was known as Leah – the heartbroken girl Sam Ulley left behind.

I smiled at them politely when Jacob introduced us. I wasn't in the mood for introductions, but Jacob told me it was important that I met them. A few minutes later, Paul came in. As soon as he caught sight of me his face blanked for a moment, as if he had stopped breathing, before he walked over and pulled me into a hug.

"I'm so sorry Leah." He whispered into the top of my head. I was considered tall for a female at the striking height of five feet and eight inches, but Paul easily towered over me – just as Jake did. Although, I didn't remember them always being this tall.

"It's ok, I'm fine, really." I pulled from his embrace and looked up at him. Paul was three years younger than me. I met him when I was a senior in high school and he was just a freshman, and despite our gap – we bonded instantly. I could tell he didn't believe me, he had that look on his face. But then I noticed that he was also looking at me strangely, like if there was something he was trying to notice differently in me. Did he know? I had only told Jacob about it, since Seth had told me he was a shape shifter too.

"Why are you looking at me that way?" I asked him.

He instantly retreated his eyes and reverted them over to Jake.

"What's going on?" I demanded, feeling like I had missed something important.

"Hey, you made it!" Seth randomly yelled out, and I instantly felt annoyed.

"Of course I did," I heard a familiar voice from behind me and felt my stomach turn.

I squeezed my eyes shut, wishing that I would just disappear or evaporate.

"Lee-lee," Sam said, the painful memory of the nickname he once used for me caused my insides to combust in agony, "Why didn't you tell me?"

I tilted my head to look up at Paul through my long lashes. He wasn't looking at me, he had a distant look on his face and he seemed to be staring in Sam's direction.

"Leah?" he said again.

I jolted my head around, seething in anger. "Why didn't I tell you? What the fuck do you care?" Normally I wouldn't have lost my cool this quickly, but the beast within me wasn't as placid as I usually was.

The boys stared at each other in shock, and then back at Sam.

"You can't just erase me Leah, we both live in the same place. We'd eventually run into each other."

"Leave." I said blatantly.

"What?" He looked hurt by my words, but I didn't care.

"Get out of my house."

"C'mon Leah, don't be like that. I'm the one that told Sam to come by." Seth said from behind me.

I felt my blood boil, my brother betrayed me. "Who's side are you on Seth?" the hostility in my words surprised me. And at that moment, I felt my skin burn up. My insides burned like a furnace, it was smoldering hot. My breathing grew heavier and I started panting. I heard the guys talking and saw their figures moving to the other side of the room, as far as possible away from me. I felt my body split in a hundred different directions, as if my flesh was being torn apart. And before I could realize it, I was standing on all fours.

I had transformed in the middle of my kitchen, in a house full of people. I panicked. My eyes darted around the room searching for a way out when I caught sight of Sam. He wasn't scared like the others, he was worried. My heart hurt at his reaction. I still loved him, and automatically I treated him badly as a defense mechanism. But he deserved it, I convinced myself, he left me for Emily. A girl that I once considered close enough to be my sister and now wanted absolutely nothing to do with.

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**A/N: Once again, I want to thank you all for the amazing feedback to this story!  
Did you guys noticed that little exchange between Paul and Leah? Hmm...  
Sorry the chapter's a bit short. I will try to update as soon as I can (:**

**Please keep reviewing!**


	4. Half of my Heart

**Half of my Heart**

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I ran out the door behind me, into the dark depths of the woods of La Push. I was a monster, I didn't deserve to live a normal life around normal people. I ran faster than I could have ever done so as a human. The lighting fast speed gave me a sudden rush of adrenaline and I felt my paws seep into the grassy floor beneath me. My thoughts escaped me. The feeling of nothing else present, just the trees and me, was liberating. That is, until I started hearing voices.

"_Leah."_

I suddenly jerked my head around to see where the voice had come from. There was nothing there.

"_Where are you?"_ Said another voice.

Was I imagining these voices? There wasn't another sign of human life for miles; there wasn't a human soul that was fast enough to catch up to me so quickly.

"_You're pretty fast, but we managed."_

My senses heightened in fear. Who heard me? Was something reading my thoughts?

"_Ding ding ding! You got it!" _

"_Shut up Embry."_

"_No you shut up Jacob."_

What was happening to me? Why were Embry and Jacob inside my head? I growled in frustration, nothing made sense to me anymore.

"_Leah, it's Sam. If you just give me a few minutes, I'll help you understand. Let me help you, please."_

It's the last thing I wanted, but I knew that talking to Sam would be the only way to fix this. I felt my anger washing away, knowing that from the last and first time this had happened, I would only become human if I focused on another energy. Sure enough, I started to see less of my silver fur as it transformed into tanned skin and my body suddenly regained its human stance on two legs. I was hit with a sudden rush of emotions and looked down at my naked body in embarrassment. Here I was, alone and naked in the middle of the woods.

I heard leaves rustling from in front of me, and threw myself on the ground, looking for anything to throw over my bare body. When I finally realized there was nothing of use, I drew my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them securely.

A figure emerged from behind an old pine tree and approached me cautiously. Sam was wearing nothing but a pair of ripped jean shorts and I couldn't help but blush. Just because I resented him, it didn't stop him from being anything less than attractive.

"Here, I brought you some clothes to change into." He said softly, approaching me with a set of garments in his hands, as he promised.

"Why is this happening to me?" I said, surprised at my abruptness.

Sam slumped his shoulders, sadness etching his dark features. "I wish….I just wish I could answer you, but I d-don't know."

When he was almost directly in front of me, I felt myself breaking. My mind flooded with memories of us together, how he would take care of me and I would take care of him. How I fit into his arms so perfectly, it was as if they were molded especially for me. Tears pricked at my eyes, they weren't made for me. They were now solely made for Emily. I couldn't stop now, the tears were falling relentlessly and my vision blurred.

I couldn't see Sam's terrified reaction, and a part of me was thankful I didn't, because then the strong pair of arms that warmly enveloped me wouldn't have been as special. Because if I had seen Sam attempt it, I wouldn't have let him. Because I was no longer his to comfort.

"I wish you knew how much I've suffered.." He whispered into my ear. I felt chills travel up and down my spine. My tears slowly subsided, his touch was enough to soothe all of my troubles – nothing mattered as much anymore.

"Y-you hurt m-me Sam." I said into his chest, pressed just above my knees.

His even breathing grew short and quick. "I know."

Something damp landed on my shoulder just as soon as he said that, and for a moment I wondered how my own tears had managed to land so far off – but it was Sam who was crying. I drew my hands up hesitantly and passed my hand through his thick black hair, grabbing a few strands and leaving it there. His body twitched from a choked sob and he inhaled deeply.

"I imprinted on Emily," he began and I immediately regretted saying anything to him in the first place. How could he mention this now, after all of _this_.

"And she's great..b-but…" he struggled to say and held me closer. My heart fluttered into spasms at the sudden closeness. We _were_ perfect, I wasn't crazy when I said I fit perfectly into him.

"I'll _never_ love her..the way I _loved_ you."

There it was, the word I was dreading to hear all these months. The one word I didn't think I could live through after hearing it said out loud. The word love used in the past tense. I felt like the woods around us had been swallowed into the damp earth, and my house, a few yards away had gone down with them. My world had collapsed all around me.

"_Loved._" I repeated in a whisper.

He swallowed hard. "I s-still do. I'll _never_ stop loving you Leah."

Hope flashed before me and for a second, I didn't hurt.

"But I can't leave Emily." His voice cracked.

I let my hand fall limply from his hair and crash into the dirt beneath me.

_This is something I usually didn't do. Usually, I never let my emotions envelop me to the point that I felt that I had lost control of thinking rationally. I had learned that the hard way not very long ago._

And now, I felt like I was reliving that same moment again. The pain was worse though, this time I felt a gaping hole left open in my chest. Like there was something missing that I would never get back. At that moment, the pain of Sam physically slicing my heart into two would have hurt less. I was allowed the freedom to fight back if that were the case, but I couldn't fight this. And this time, there would be no one to save me from this – from a broken heart.

Sam had been a part of me for so many years, and he had promised to remain a part of me for the rest of them. But I should've expected this, broken promises and charming words. He would go to Emily after this. She would kiss him hello and life would go on; because through it all, they had each other.

After this, I would go home to my house – which had just been full with just that, broken promises and charming words. And I would go to bed, alone, to realize my mother would never be the same, my brother's happiness was forever shattered, and that my father was dead.

And so was Sam.

_The End_

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**A/N: First off, thank you to all of my lovely and amazing reviewers: ****HadleyConlon****, ****Loonynamelass****, ****krazykook****, ****Jada91****, ****Leanora****, ****ari11990****, ****Like-Vines-We-Intertwine**

**This was a really angsty chapter, which just so happen to be my favorite to write for some strange reason, so I hope you guys enjoyed it!  
I'm sorry I took so long to update, but my internet was acting up all week and I finally managed to find it at a time that it felt was convenient to work.  
**

**This is what I intend to be the ending of this story, but if you guys are interested in one more chapter - I'm up for it.  
Review and let me know (:  
**


	5. Harmless?

**A/N: So after I saw how many of you reviewed and messaged me asking me for more chapters, I felt it would be unfair to leave you all hanging and got straight to work!**

**I'm not sure how much longer this is going to be, I'm just going to wing it until I feel like it should end lol**

**So here's a new chapter! Enjoy (:**

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**Part II: Harmless?**

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What I said that night, I meant it.

From that moment on, Sam was no longer a part of my life. But little did I know how wrong I was. Once I started running with the pack, the same voices I heard the first time I transformed, were worse. I could hear any insignificant thought any of the guys were thinking, and so could they listen to mines. I didn't mind what they would say at first. I was used to the certain level of stupidity they were known to show every now and then. But when I heard Sam think his first thoughts of Emily, I couldn't bear it.

It wasn't anything too exciting, but it was a thought for a reason. It was meant to be kept to yourself.

Emily and him were celebrating an anniversary that night, and she had told him she was going to surprise him when he had arrived home. Towards the end of our patrol, his mind started meandering off to Emily. His excitement radiated off to the rest of us, an excitement that I wasn't ready to receive. I didn't mention it nor did I tell him to stop. Instead, I thought back to an innocent memory of us.

Our freshman year in high school was nearing it's end, and it was _our_ first year anniversary. He'd taken me to the woods, something I first thought completely impractical. But as we sat there, with the picnic he had himself cooked (poorly, might I add) I realized, that we didn't need anything else; just as long as we were together.

But then it happened. The eagerness Sam had once felt, was overtaken with remorse and guilt. And I could feel him rue. That's the moment I realized, that _I_ had the power to make Sam as miserable as I was. And it felt, good.

The first few times were harmless, whenever he'd think of something with Emily, I'd relate it to a similar memory involving the two of us. His thoughts with Emily would instantly cease, and while he mourned, I lived – because for that moment, he was thinking of _me._

The pack was admittedly growing tired of the mental battle between Sam and I, and although selfish, I wasn't thwarted. They acted colder towards me, Quil was the first to initiate more hostile thoughts, prompting a domino effect with Embry and then Jacob. Even Seth had confronted me more than once.

"Just lay off, Leah." He said disapprovingly at me. It hurt to hear my brother talk to me like that.

"This doesn't concern you Seth." I snapped in defense. My anger was harder to control with each passing day.

"Yes it does Leah! It does concern me, it concerns all of us! We all have to put up with your whining and –"

"Whining?" I lashed back at him, the cool winds from the LA Push beach lifted my short hair, tossing it around my face, "Seth, what he did to me…..You _know_ what I went through….he deserves _all_of this!"

"Do I deserve it Leah?" his voice was serious, more serious than I had ever heard from him, "Does Jacob deserve it? Does _Paul_ deserve it?" he said, placing a stronger emphasis on Paul.

I watched him hesitantly, "No. but it's the only way to get to Sam."

"Goddamit Leah, then you're just being selfish!"

"What if I am? Wasn't what Sam did to me _selfish?_ You don't call leaving _me_ for our _cousin_ selfish? Did he ever to stop to think of what it would do to me?" I felt myself being reduced to tears as they prickled at my eyes.

Seth just shook his head, "Open your eyes, Leah. There's a whole other world out there. A world that doesn't involve Sam."

His words gave my stomach a sinking feeling, and although it hurt, I knew he was right. I'd promised myself I would get over him, but I guess it wasn't as easy as I thought it would be.

"I'm going to Emily's," he said after realizing Leah was done talking, "the guys are there, and, well, you should go too."

Before I could answer him, he was gone. I was distracted, staring at the sea. Within a few minutes, I could practically feel the tenseness exit my body. It was comforting to know I could consistently rely on the beach. No matter the time of day, the season, or the year, it was always there. The waves were picking up, it was high tide. I felt the water pass over my bare feet and then wash away, taking a part of my worries away with it. I went over Seth's words again in my head. I didn't like being called selfish by my little brother. I would hear it from Jacob any day, but not from Seth.

"How are you feeling?"

I whipped my head around, annoyed that someone would intrude on my peace, when I saw Paul. He was standing a few inches behind me and I let my eyes linger on his figure longer than I would've liked. He had just come from patrolling, judging by his clothing, or lack thereof. I could never get used to seeing them that way, I still felt uncomfortable, with Paul especially.

A few weeks ago, after a long and tiresome day of patrolling, I'd forgotten to take an extra set of clothes to change into after I had transformed. Paul had also transformed nearby, keeping his distance just like the rest of the pack would always do when I changed. Apparently, he had mistaken my groan of frustration for me being attacked and instantly rushed to find me. Needless to say, it was embarrassing.

"Did you hear all of that?" I asked and looked back at the ocean, my eyes squinted as if I were focused on finding something far away.

"I didn't mean to, but yeah."

"He's right." I crossed my hands over my chest dejectedly, "You don't deserve it, neither of you do."

He paused before answering, "He was right about the selfish part too."

I looked at him in surprise, not expecting him to be so blatant. "What?" I snapped.

He didn't waiver, instead he came closer and stood beside me. "Your being selfish Leah. You think we all like to see," he paused, "all the good times you had with Sam."

The salty breeze calmed my hidden signs of rage. "That's the point Paul, it's supposed to make Sam upset." I was now questioning Paul's intentions.

"It's not…..it's not just Sam." He whispered so softly, I barely heard him.

My mind automatically travelled to my brother. "I don't think Seth minds.."

I looked up at him pensively, wishing that I could really know what he was thinking. Trying to find a way to get him upset enough to transform, so I could read his mind.

"You were happy with him. I mean, I knew you guys were, great together. I just, I don't know, I guess it's harder to see it now."

"Harder?"

"Yes, _harder_." He emphasized the word 'harder', " It's harder because it's coming from you. Because all you think about is _him._" He said, suddenly hot-tempered.

"That's not fair Paul-"

"Your right, it's not fair Leah. Because I _hate_ that you don't let anyone else in, you don't give anyone else a chance."

My stomach flipped, and I found myself staring at him, although he avoided my gaze.

"What he did to you was wrong, I know it, we all know it. And thanks to you, we've gone through the breakup, just as much as you have."

I shook my head with an obvious expression of dismal on my face, "You're a jerk." I couldn't believe what he was saying. He was blaming me for putting a strain on the pack.

"Leah, can you just listen to me?" he said, grabbing my arm. And as soon as he did, I felt electricity on the spot. I jerked my hand away, it was probably just static.

"Why, so you can keep pointing out how much of a pain I am?"

He looked down at the spot where his hand touched my arm, "Your taking this all the wrong way."

I laughed bitterly. "Oh, so I'm stupid now? I'm always moping, _and_ I don't things the right way. Thanks, Paul." I was now yelling, ready to storm off until..

"Your selfish because you don't realize how much it hurts _me_!" he shouted trying to make his voice prominent.

"You?" I hissed back at him, "What does this have to do with you Paul?"

He sunk his head into his shoulders, "Did you ever stop and think, that there might be someone in the pack that wants to make you forget about Sam. Someone that wants to fill your head with….new memories.."

A fierce wind gust made me lose my balance for a second, and considering how close Paul was, I knocked into the side of his arm. He threw his hands out to steady me, and I felt it again, that_electricity_. His dark brown eyes bore into mine, and with just one look, I knew what he was going to say.

"Leah," he said softly, keeping his hands solidly placed against the sides of my arms, "You're my imprint."

I blinked; once, twice, and several more times.

"You..y-you imprinted…..on m-me?"

His hands fell to his sides and his head sunk into his shoulders, "Look, you don't have to do anything about it. I just wanted to tell you already, it's been…..a while."

My heart was racing so fast, I didn't think it would ever slow down. "How long?"

"Since the first time I saw you, in your kitchen at your dad's funeral." He swung his arms to the top of his head. "You know how it works, all of this imprinting stuff, it happens the first time you see the person after the transformation."

I swallowed a lump in my throat. For a minute I thought he was lying because I see him around a lot, and we're friends. But after tracing back to the events of the pack's transformations, they had all been too sick in bed for me to see any of them. And my dad had forbid it, he wouldn't leave the house alone. My chest tightened at the thought of him. I missed my dad so much and his disappearance from our lives was evident in everyday activities around the house. I let my thoughts engulf me, completely forgetting Paul was right in front of me and after the silence I imposed, he spoke.

"I wanted to tell you before."

I looked up at him, "it's just….a lot to take in."

"Don't worry about it. I'm going to Emily's." he said, pulling his hands off his head to wave good-bye and walked across the sand and up to the woods - leaving me completely dumbfounded.

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	6. History Repeats Itself

**History repeats itself**

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As soon as he was gone, I did the most unexpected thing. I smiled, truly smiled. An expression I hadn't been able to pull off in months. "Paul.." I breathed, shocked at my body's reaction to this. My head was spinning and my heart was pumping faster than ever. I felt _happy_, genuinely happy.

I was overwhelmed with the sudden urge to go to Emily's house, although, I hadn't stepped foot into her house since she ran off with Sam. We weren't really talking to each other either, neither did I have the intention of doing so anytime in the near future. Emily deserved to be shunned by me. No one put a gun to her head, she wasn't given the option of life or death when Sam first asked her out. She could've said no for the sake of her cousin. That's when I learned that sometimes, blood traitors did exist.

But despite all of that, I should've expected that my emotions would contradict my logic, it wasn't uncommon. My legs started moving beneath me and I felt as if a cloud of adrenaline rain had drenched me from head to toe. The smooth sand sunk my feet, and I put extra strain into running until I reached the dirt ground of the woods. The sweet scent of earth and wood filled my senses and I was able to maneuver my way out of the woods easily. The trees behind me were my second home, or my first. I spent more time there than I did in my own house. My body had become so fit and agile, I barely perspired. It was as if I was taking a very slow walk in the middle of Alaska.

I slowed my pace once I started to see more people around me along the dirt roads. A few of the elders waved at me, and I waved back.

Rachel Black sidestepped me, "Hey Leah, where are you going in such a hurry?"

I stopped in my tracks, Rachel was supposed to be in college. I looked up at her enviable beauty, she had long dark brown hair with eyes to match, but most prominently, she looked like a girl. As insane as it sounded, it was something I felt that I had lost when I had to cut my hair. It was a little longer than the guys had their hair, but it was still a little above my chin. My hair used to be full, thick mane of black, just like Rachel's.

I smiled, trying to look enthused. "Hey Rachel, why are you down so early?"

She shrugged her shoulders gracefully, "I was feeling kinda homesick." She down-turned her scarlet red lips, "Where is everyone? Jacob wasn't home, and I went to Pauls but his mom said he was at your cousins house."

The disappointment was so painful, that I literally felt as if I had fallen off a mountaintop. Paul and Rachel had a 'thing' before she went up to college. He was crazy about her, he told me. I scolded myself mentally, how could I forget? He had told me last year in confidence, and I even tried to get them together! it just seemed so far away, as if it happened ages ago. So much had happened, and Rachel had been gone for so long, it just didn't seem as important as it used to be.

"Yeah, they're all at Emily's house.."

"Cool, are you heading over there now?" she asked endearingly.

"No. I'm not, I actually have to get something from my house first." I lied.

Her eagerness wasn't moved, "Oh ok, I'll see you there!"

I ran back home, not because I had to get anything, but because I wanted to find Seth. Now with Rachel there, I didn't want to show up alone. It was stupid and weak, two things I stood strongly against, but I excused myself just this once. But he wasn't home, no one was. I scowled under my breath and fell into my couch to kill time. After fifteen minutes I decided that was long enough for me to get whatever it was that I told Rachel I needed and headed back up to Emily's. My excitement had dwindled, and I actually didn't really feel like going anymore. But if I had any chance of getting my old self back, I had to act like her. And in this case, the old me wouldn't stay home and let the night go by without doing anything about it.

Emily lived in a small place by the outer ends of the woods. There were fallen leaves on her roof and porch and it was hidden by tall trees and bushes. Inside, I could hear Jacob's familiar laugh and Seth whining about something. But then I heard something else, something that made my stomach plunge. Rachel was calling out to Paul, and before I knew it, the front door swung open and Rachel toppled out of it with Paul's hand in hers.

"Hey Leah!" Rachel said cheerily causing Paul to hastily let go of her hand.

"You made it." he smiled, walking towards me much to Rachel's dismay.

"I made it…" I repeated, not knowing what else to say.

My face was pressed into his strong chest as he pulled me into a hug. My arms stay limply hanging from my sides as I softly inhaled his scent. He smelled like muffins, meaning that was probably what Emily had baked them inside.

"Come on." he said after he pulled away and then grabbed my wrist to lead me inside. I saw Rachel pout from the corner of my eyes and heard her say solemnly, "Yeah, come on in."

"Whoa that was quick! You and Rachel have a good time?" Embry guffawed openly, not noticing Leah behind him.

"Cool it man, that's my sister you're talking about." Jacob said with disgust.

I was beginning to feel nauseous. It was all going to end the same way wasn't it? Rachel came down and Paul realized that she was better than me, probably regretting everything he had told me at the beach. As soon as I came into view, the room silenced. And it wasn't because I had walked in, it was because I had walked in holding Paul's hand. I caught Seth's eye and he winked, failing to hide the happiness on his face.

"Leah!" he was the first to break the silence as he ran up to me and hugged me, "You listened to me." he whispered into my ear, and pulled away. "Want a muffin? They're strawberry."

Paul laughed and looked down at me, "They're really good, you won't regret it."

_You wont regret it._ I didn't know exactly what to feel or how to act, I might have been over thinking that last part. But to me, the words just seemed to disguise a double meaning. So I once again referenced the old me. I let go of Paul and walked over to the table where most of the guys were sitting and reached over to grab a muffin.

"They better be, or I'll make you choke on yours." I smirked, and the room geared into conversation again.

I made my way to Seth and plopped down next to him. "Thanks little brother, I can't believe you a_ctually _said something worth listening to."

Instead of being affronted, Seth was already used to his sister's sarcasm and laughed, "Hey, I'm not so little anymore. I'm taller than you _little_ sister." He snatched my muffin and took a big bite out of it. "So, Paul told you?"

I stared at him, my eyes surely popping out of their sockets. "You knew?"

"Duh. Paul was a freaking wreck. I guess he couldn't take it anymore, and finally told me like…three months ago."

"_Three_ months ago?"

"I'm worried, I feel like you don't catch on to things like you used to. Yes Leah, _three months ago_." He emphasized the last three words very slowly, like if he was talking to an idiot.

I laughed, "Thanks, I get it now!"

"Why'd you leave him back there? He looks like love sick puppy.." Seth chuckled, urging me to look back at him. Paul was staring at me with a confused expression wrinkling his handsome face.

I turned back to Seth, "So? Now he can talk to Rachel all he wants." I snapped.

"He's not into Rachel anymore." He raised his eyebrows, "See how slow you are? We need to do something about this."

"How do you know he's not?"

"Because once you imprint on someone, you're hooked." Seth looked like he was about to say more, but bit his lip. He glanced over at Sam and Emily really fast and then averted his eyes. I followed him, taking a quick look at them when oddly enough, I saw Sam eyeing Paul suspiciously.

"Does Sam know?" I blurted, grabbing a throw pillow and positioning it on my lap. I passed my hand over the roughly woven fabric, it outlined an old Quilete tribal print.

Sam shrugged, "I don't think so. I mean, I'm pretty sure Paul didn't tell him anything. That'd be stupid."

"I think you're stupid." Jacob said airily as he walked by.

"Hey!" Seth disagreed, throwing my muffin at him.

I narrowed my eyes."Really? That was _my_ muffin!"

"Not anymore." Seth frowned. Jacob stared at me expectedly, probably waiting to see if I'd blow up at Seth for throwing my muffin away. They all knew I had a short fuse, and it had gotten even shorter lately.

"Jake, you could've saved it." I scowled.

His deep brown eyes examined me hesitantly, and grinned. "_Could've_ being the operative word."

I shook my head disapprovingly, "Jerk."

"Thank you." He said smugly.

The guys started guffawing over a fight Embry had lost against a bear and Jacob quickly left to join in. I smiled, and turned back to Seth to see his face light up with enthusiasm. He laughed boisterously as the boys bantered on, sniping Embry. Paul stood close by, Rachel not far behind. She would talk to Emily occasionally, but mostly hovered around Paul.

"Hey, I'm really glad to see you here." My attention drifted from Paul to the girl beside me. My expression purely read disdain when I saw Emily, speaking to me. I looked ahead of me, ignoring her.

"Leah, can we talk…_please?_" she begged, "There's so much I need to -"

"I didn't come to see you. I came because Seth asked me to." I plainly stated, still not looking at her, "Unfortunately, the pack has acquired the nasty habit of choosing to meet _here_."

I couldn't tell how my words affected her, and admittedly, I didn't care. The last thing I wanted to do was look into the eyes of my deceitful cousin. The same cousin that managed to make my life a living hell, the same cousin that made me want to stay in bed all day and never leave the comforting solitude of my room.

'I know it still hurts.."

That was it. I had taken just about enough of her. "_You_ don't _know_ anything, Emily!" I hissed through my teeth, "You don't know the agony..the pain I endured because of you and Sam!"

I felt like it was okay to look at her now, and I was glad I did, because he face revealed a rewarding expression – _fear_. I was pleased with myself, and the scar on her face made it all even more worthwhile. It was karma, that's exactly what it was. An eye for an eye. She ran off with Sam, turning her back on a girl she once considered to be her sister – shattering her so broken, it was almost incurable.

"I shouldn't have come." I felt my throat tighten, threatening tears prickling at my eyes and decided that if they were stubborn enough to fall, it wouldn't happen here.

I stormed off, past the guys questioning faces, and into the outermost stretch of woods, back to where I felt most comfortable.

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**A/N: First off, you guys are all beyond amazing.  
Thank you for all of your encouraging reviews, I love them!  
And of course, thank you if you've added my story to your favorites or on alert (:**

Now, Second off (that doesn't make sense, but I'll keep it there anyways lol), it might be a while before I update again :|  
School started and it's already terrible, but as soon as I have a chance to write, I definitely will.  


**But anywhoo, Please keep your reviews coming!  
Who knows, they might get me to update sooner (;  
**


	7. Realizations

**Realizations**

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I felt the breeze envelop me as it whipped at my face. There was no place for tears in the woods. Any sign of weakness and you're noted as helpless, without defense. That's how the woods worked after all, the bottom of the food chain had the least respect. And in many ways, life was like that too. I closed my eyes for a few seconds, afraid of keeping them closed too long, and took the time to mull things over. The chilled winds grew colder, and consequently drew my hands to either arm to rub them vigorously. Am I angry enough to transform?

Almost.

"You can't run away from everything."

I jerked my head around, letting my mouth fall at the sight of Sam. I shook my head and began to walk forward.

"You're doing it again." And he quickly caught up with me enough to grope my arm.

"Don't touch me." I snapped.

"It isn't Emily's fault."

I let out a derisive laugh, finding the situation the opposite of humorous, "It _is_ Emily's fault! She didn't have to go off with you Sam! If she really cared at all about me, she would've been on my side, and left you all alone – exactly what you deserved."

He only stared at me, and his face made me want to scream.

"Can you just leave me alone." She demanded in a whisper.

"And what about Paul?" Sam inquired, his voice skeptical.

"What about _Paul_?"

"He imprinted on you, Leah! Don't you understand it better now? What happens when you imprint? Do you see how out of nowhere and sporadic it is?"

I was silent.

"It sneaks up on you and you don't see it coming. I wasn't planning on imprinting on Emily, it just..happened. Just like I'm almost sure that Paul didn't see this one coming." He raised his hand and placed it behind his head.

"Which part didn't you see coming? The part where Paul imprints, or the part where I finally have another chance at being happy?" I raised my voice at him, causing a nearby squirrel to run from a thorny shrub and up a tree, to safety.

"What's that supposed to mean? That I _don't_ want you to be happy?" He pointed to his chest gruffly, "Crap, Leah, I never thought you'd think so low of me."

"You didn't answer the question Sam."

He breathed in deeply, "I don't have to answer anything."

The frustration bottled inside of me was ready to explode, "Yes you do! You owe me at least _that_ much."

"Do you think Paul's going to do that for you? He's a kid, he doesn't know how to be a man and take responsibility. He's just a kid."

The only thing I could think to do was laugh, an insane kind of laugh. A laugh you only heard when I was really about to lose anything holding me up. "Okay. That's just _great_. That's an excellent answer, thank you."

"What we had, we'll never feel with anyone else, and you know it."

For a second, I wanted to agree. The moments we shared together were the most carefree times I could remember of my life. But I couldn't keep living from memories, feeding off of them as if they were really happening again. My life had to go on, and I had to create new memories of my own. Ones that could last me forever, and not just in my mind.

"Your right, I never will."

Sam looked surprised at my answer.

"Because the next time I fall in love, it'll be _better_. We had our time Sam, and now it's gone, and we can't change that. And now, that I've fully realized that, I _know_ that I can let someone else in – someone that wont have the chance to regret leaving me."

And after my enlightening monologue, I walked off, leaving Sam alone to his thoughts. And for the first time, I didn't care if he were to suddenly decide to leave Emily for me, because I wouldn't take him back either way. I brushed past him, hitting his arm as I walked and with a new wave of enthusiasm headed home, with the comforting silence of my solitary footsteps tapping against the rocky dirt terrain.

I figured Seth would be home, because when I passed by Emily's, it seemed like everyone was already gone; and I'm almost sure it was safe to assume that it was because of me. As I approached my house, I noticed the large figure of a boy sitting upon the steps of my poorly lighted porch. Mom had been pestering me about changing the lightbulb for days, but I would always forget, and I suddenly hated myself for being so irresponsible. I would've normally assumed it was Seth, but this guy was bigger, stronger. I softened my pace, and stopped just outside my front lawn, still on the street. Not even at my feeble attempts at squinting could I make out a face, so when I saw him stand, I stiffened, ready to transform if I had to.

"Relax Leah, it's just me."

I kept my defensive stance, "Paul?"

"Yeah, don't attack me or anything." And as he drew closer, I was able to confirm the stranger wasn't lying.

"Hi." I said stupidly.

"Hey." He laughed shortly, "Sorry, I didn't mean to sneak up on you. I just wasn't sure if you were coming back to Emily's, and…uh..i wanted to see how you were."

"Why does everyone keep asking me if I'm okay? I'm not dying or anything." I crossed my arms in front of me.

He laughed again, but this time softer, "Because when people care about someone, they want to make sure they're alright – it's kind of a normal thing."

I smiled, feeling a tingly feeling in the pit of my stomach. Something that hadn't happened since my first couple of months dating Sam. This wasn't a signal of readiness to feel things again, but only a sign that it was, indeed, possible to do so in the future.

"Well, thanks. So then, how are you doing?"

His lips curved into a modest smile, "I'm doing pretty well right now."

"Good."

"I don't want to be a mood kill or anything, but I kinda heard what you told Sam."

I narrowed my eyes, "How do you manage to eavesdrop on all of my conversations."

He shrugged apologetically, "I can't help it, it's like my wolf senses are always turned on." His big brown eyes bore into mine, making me feel as if there wasn't an actively functioning world around us, "But that isn't the point. I'm glad you stood up to Sam, it was about time you set him straight."

"Yeah, well, I think I've told him the same thing a few times, but just – never out loud."

"You're pretty badass if you ask me."

I laughed, "I think you're the only one that thinks that. I'm sure everyone else see's me as a psycho."

"Hmm..probably, but I think it suits you. This new 'I can chop your head off' Leah."

Admittedly, I thought so too. I'm not as naïve as I used to be, although with naivety came a lot less worries, but I needed the wake up call.

"Sure." I smirked, breaking our stare, "I think I'm going inside, it's getting late." I motioned back at the house.

"Yeah, you probably should."

I could tell he was waiting to meet my eyes again, so I spared him a cursory glance and began to traipse down the grassy path to the porch, when I heard him call me again.

"Hey Leah."

I turned around, "Yeah?"

"How are you?"

I couldn't help the smile overtaking my face, "I'm good. How are you?"

"I'm perfect."

And with Paul's final note, his way of reassuring me he cared, I turned the doorknob open and smiled at him, just before I shut the door.

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**A/N: Hey guys(: I'm sorry it took me so long to update, but I hope it was worth the wait for you all.  
**

**So, I hope you all enjoyed the Leah/Paul fluff at the end of this chapter, because I sure did !  
This is the official ending to the story, I know it was pretty short, but that's sort of how I intended it.  
I'm not sure about a sequel yet, but make sure you add me to your author alerts just in case I decide to do so.**

**Thank you guys for reading and for all of your wonderful reviews-they made me so happy(:**

**The End **(Officially)**  
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